Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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