I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize