So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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