so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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