Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
