come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
