so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
