we have pet lesbian snakes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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