Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he puts the penis in happiness.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize