he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
