As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i think my cat just said my name.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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