I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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