If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
