Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
