so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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