I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
