I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
