I cockslap morals
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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