She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
