I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
