But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
