Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
