Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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