did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
