At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
