So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
