Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
