so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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