do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
