So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
