Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
