I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
