I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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