The maid of honor just puked.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
