I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
