To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
