so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We got so high we made milksteak
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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