hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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