i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can I color on your dick again?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
