I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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