his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
