Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
