I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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