from now on my penis is your penis
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
