Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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