It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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