I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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