it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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