i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
