i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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