Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
