My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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