can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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