I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
