C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
