they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry about my life...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
