We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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