covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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