Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
