So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
