you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize