She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
