I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
