How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
