Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
