I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
