I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
