i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Hippo gnu deer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The power of my boobs compel you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
