Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The Olympian is in my bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
