do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
