Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
