So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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