this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
